I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
