Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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