I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
