Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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