Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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