i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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