I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
