no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
