i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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