i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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