Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
