Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
