well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
