Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize