I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize