Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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