my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
