One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
