maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
