: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
