New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
