apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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