Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
