okay pat passed out under dana's car
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
