Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
