booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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