As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
