Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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