She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
