singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
