Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were trust falling into bushes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
