great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Mom said you looked used
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
