Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
