I'm going to jail i love you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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