My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
