This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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