Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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