Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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