I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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