OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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