i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
