So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they're like a gay fantastic four
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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