I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
