I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
