she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
