I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize