his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
