btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
