turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
