He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
