i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
