I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
