Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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