Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
