Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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