Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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