Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
bring money and cleavage
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
