do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
