You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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