I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
