i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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