This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
