covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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