...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize