shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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