"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
