I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
God I need to hump something, right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
