I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm like, not good at living.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
