I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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