May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
