Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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