so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
