Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
