If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
