Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How does one acquire holy water?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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