So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
