ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
