I'm jealous of your bromance
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
