am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
